source from here
Kids…
Back to my twenties, I was highly an unconfident person. Didn’t
mean that I was shy, like never talk to anyone and sitting in the corner
without anyone noticing me. I was very talkative though, still am. I just didn’t
like anything about myself. I didn’t see me capable to do anything big. I saw
everyone is better. Simply put, I was a loser.
I spent 20ish years of my life being clueless. I took
geology because your grandpa Ben suggested it to me. I tried hard to graduate
because I didn’t have other option. Still I chose to be a geologist when
applying a job. The only situation that made me work hard was when I was in
probation before becoming a permanent employee. After that, I did everything
averagely. I woke up, went to work, went to bed then woke up again the next
morning to work again. Something was missing in my life. I knew it well, but I didn’t
know yet what was it at that moment.
Then I met him…
Nothing was different, on the surface. But he had woken up
something inside me that I didn’t even know I have. When I got compliment from
something I had done, I usually felt uncomfortable. I thought I didn’t deserve
that. I thought it was just a small matter, everybody could do it. Nothing was special
about my work. He successfully made me believe I deserved those compliments, believed
I can do more, dream big and also can make it come true.
He introduced me to my work. Something I never tried to do
before. How come you learn to love something without knowing it well? I spent
more time in the office, tried to know detail about my job. I’m a development
geologist, I tried to befriend with my fields. Knew their histories and made
plan for their future. Not only in development geologist ways of thinking but
also explorationist, reservoir, production, safety engineer, even from legal
people’s point of view. The more I befriended my job, the more I knew which
parts that I love, and which parts that I liked less. Then I made plan for my
future, chose to be more advance in something I have passion in. Something I did
terribly late, but Wiseman says “Better late than never” right?
Years I worked as an employee, I never dare to lock target for
myself. I didn’t dare to dream I can be on top rank. This company didn’t fire
me yet because I was too stupid was enough for me. Silly right? When I wrote
this to you, kids, I already did it, with plan to make it come
true, short term and long term. In short term I submitted myself to magister
program (something that never crossed in the mind of my old self). I got some
offer letters from universities. I chose The University of Manchester, in
England.
When I told him I was going to study abroad, I also told him
I would only be away for a year. He could see me next year. So when he told me
he also left, I was stunned. Guess he could easily read my facial expression that changed very sudden. I stopped
eating corn from his plate and I couldn’t look him in the eye. Yes, I
was happy for him. I just didn’t think it would come this fast. As selfish as I
was ever, I wanted him to always be here for me, be my supporter and motivator.
The day I wrote this piece was his last day as my coworker. It
broke my heart, but this was for the best. I knew this place was too small for
him to spread his wings. I knew he was destined to do something bigger than his
role right now. I said my farewell to him, wished him all the best, and kept
praying from afar.
Kids,
This is not the story of How I Met Uncle R. This is the
story of how meeting him, changed my life.
I hope when you read this, I already become something that
you’re proud of.
I hope your grandpa and grandma also proud of me.
I hope I keep my word, focus on my target and do everything
I could to make my dream come true (as long as it gets Ridha Allah).
I hope we (you two, your daddy and me) are happy.
I hope he and his family are happy.
I hope he and his family are happy.
Maybe right now, I already forget his face, but I’ll
never forget what he had done to me.
He is the person who
made me dare to dream. He makes me believe in myself. He is my laserlight.Love,
Mom
source from here
*inspired by How I Met Your Mother
